Friday, February 12, 2010

Another reason why testosterone levels drop after the birth of a child

As fatherhood is a somewhat recurring theme on this blog, I would like to take this moment for a public service announcement. While the child carrier offered by Baby Bjorn is a step forward in several key areas, there was at least one significant area of failure in product testing. Fathers with at least marginal experience with this product will know exactly what I am talking about from sad experience. For all those mothers, baby shower shoppers, and future fathers, this is for you. Please consider the picture below:

 Aside from the fact that the guy in this picture looks highly annoying, let us contemplate what is likely to happen as our euro-yuppie couple goes for a stroll. Exposing the baby to anything shiny, potentially edible, vaguely animal, also a child or distressing in any way (or the memory of any of the above) is going to cause the dear little bundle of love in this picture to start kicking. Let’s contemplate that for a moment…

At least this father is aware of his pending doom and has opted for some strategic hand placement. Good idea, but very difficult to implement, let me tell you. If you spend a high degree of time thinking about things that might induce your child to kick, you can position your hands in advance, but Jr.’s legs have very little distance to travel and you are not likely to be that fast (particularly considering the sleep deprivation you are likely to be feeling and the fact that you obviously left the house to accomplishing something other than inviting domestic violence upon yourself).

Ladies, future fathers and baby product shoppers, please consider that the woman in question may actually want to have another child with the man in question at some point in the future. This product is well suited to small children, women, fathers with very fast reflexes and men who have taken countermeasures. Someone please invent something better capable of holding a child larger than 6-8 months. 


  1. Funny. :)

    When I was shopping for baby stuff, the Baby Bjorn was getting bad press because it puts pressure on the baby's spine and groin, and we should apparently be preparing for a generation of hunchbacks. The other brands have made some effort to attract dads. Like this:

    Yep, that guy looks like he's full of testosterone. I love the camo print. Perfect for taking your infant out deer hunting, or to engage in hand-to-hand combat in the jungle.

  2. Hahahahahaha. This made me laugh.

  3. The dad in the first picture looks like he has other plans in life... I don't think he'll be around long so the bb can go to the next guy.

  4. I'm in a coffeeshop and I laughed out loud! Never would have thought of that!

  5. Maybe they could offer a protective cup option for dads.:)